My 22th day KPI experiment update

Well, it works. In essence, that’s all you need to know.

And if you are curious why it works, the reason is simple. By focusing on some metrics, you’ll create some outcomes in your life. These outcomes are anything but predictable yet they happen. In other words, many times I don’t see how I can connect A with B but by focusing on the metric at hand, it connects automatically.

Consider your goal being gold in the ground. Your KPIs are the rate at which you mine towards that goal. Eventually, generally sooner than later, you will accomplish your goal simply because you’ve put the right effort in.

Apart from that, I’ve noticed some very interesting trends and observations:

  1. Parkinson’s law works so well. If you have X resources, you’ll consume exactly X resources. If you have one day to accomplish a goal, it will take one goal but if you have just two hours, then you’ll most likely find a way to accomplish it within those two hours.
  2. Good day, I’m OK, bad day, I’m OK, with the addition that no matter if it is a good or a bad day, your effort still gets tracked.
  3. It is hard to focus on every metric possible. Sometime you focus only on productivity. Other times on fitness. For now, I’ve decided to focus on a main metric, even if the others suffer. At some point in time (since this will become permanent, yet, I guess I’ll tweak some aspects of it once it is all completed) I will be able to do all of them. Right now, I can’t advance in more than two metrics at a time.
  4. Life follows cycles. If I put everything in a graph, I can see about the same pattern, spikes then going down then spikes again, instead of a straight line. I’m not surprised about this. The key is to keep the distance between the spikes equal. You can have a good streak, you can have a bad streak, but the average should be good. In other words, amazing things, victories, should not happen once every two weeks but smaller victories every few days. Or a huge one that accounts for several smaller ones.

That’s about it. If you haven’t tried this already, I encourage you to do so (you can find other posts about this on this blog).

Best regards,
Razvan Rogoz

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The Myth Of Time Management

I don’t think that there is such thing as a person that is not productive.

We are all productive. You can be productive in watching TV. You can be productive in posting on Facebook or chatting there. You can be productive in washing your dishes.

Productivity exists and it exists at an optimum level. It is a tool. Unless you are in a coma, you are productive. The problem is that you are productive on the wrong things. Sure, if you would be paid $50/hour watching TV, then that could be considered as productive but chances are that you should do something else instead of that.

It all comes down to how you invest your time or better said, on what. You have 24 hours and based on how many alarms you have in the morning, you have between 18 and 15 hours available to invest.

And if you invest them into the wrong things, you won’t have time to invest them into the right one. It is as simple as that. You don’t need a 300 page book on time management to get this point. If you spend one hour talking to someone just for the sake of talking, you’ll have one hour less exercising, working or studying.

If you invest four hours into watching that TV show, you’ll have four hour less of time to spend with your loved ones. It is actually very simple when you put it this way. You have time, the problem is that you don’t invest it into the right manner.

Almost anything in life can be quantified by how much time you invest in it. Do you want a new iPhone 6? Maybe this means 20 hours of focused work. Do you want that vacation in Tenerife? It will cost you 50 hours of work to get the money, 5 hours of planning and the downtime of the vacation itself (even if in this case, the vacation becomes a priority, otherwise each goal would carry an ownership cost that would exceed what you’ve paid, in time and money, to acquire. So let’s not take it to the extreme).

Have you’ve spent time on Facebook? Was it worth it? Because that time may had cost you a few tens of dollars or good-will from someone you love or a few new bricks in your education.

Time is always available, until you die that is. And if you want things in life, you need to invest it properly. Do you want to have an amazing partner, significant other? This requires time. Time in investing in yourself, in becoming the person that attracts that kind of person, in dating, developing a relationship and so on. The time is there, you can use it or you can not. The choice is yours.

So in the end, time management comes not to to-dos and calendars. It comes to a simple question …

“In what am I’m going to invest my time and is this activity the one that brings the best ROI for me at this moment?”

And the ROI differs. Sometimes you need to work like a slave to have a lot of money. Yet other times, the best ROI is to kick back, light a cigarette, put some music, some brandy and enjoy the moment. Sometimes it is to read a good book while other times it is to help someone move his or her furniture. It depends. But everything you do right now, EVERYTHING is an investment in your future.

Are you a good investor and are you going to get huge returns from your time or are you an awful one?

Best regards,
Razvan

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Five Days To Jump-Start Your Day …

While it is not scientific, the start of the day will usually determine how the rest of the day will be. If you start your day in the right manner, you can set up the pace for being successful, whatever that means to you.

Here are five methods that are PROVED (in my own life that is) to work.

Method #1 – Start your day early. One day, I’ll wake up at 04:00 every single morning. I can’t wait for that day to come. Right now my wake up hour oscillates between 06:00 and 08:00. When you wake up early, everything is quiet, your significant other is still sleeping, the kids are sleeping (if you have kids) and you have time to focus. It gives you a few good hours to prepare.

Method #2 – Get outside ASAP in the morning. I like the morning air. It is a bit cold, no matter in what season I am and it acts as a mental and emotional tonic. Thirty minutes outside in the morning and few things can disturb your inner calm afterwards.

Method #3 – Exercise. Ideally, go to the gym. Thirty minutes on the treadmill or some weight training can and will get your heart rate up. This in turn will boost your energy.

Method #4 – Spend time with your significant other. Breakfast together, sex or simply spending 30 – 60 minutes together will fortify the relationship and will give both of you a great mood. This alone can change your entire day.

Method #5 – Do some work in the morning. There is no greater feeling than to know that you’ve got some important stuff done before 10:00. That’s why as soon as I get home from my walk outside or even after grooming, I’ll be working for one hour.

What are your own methods for improving your mornings

Best regards,
Razvan Rogoz

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What A Soap Bubble Taught Me About Life & Inter-Connected Systems

Today, while I was taking a bath, I saw something that filled another piece in this puzzle called life.

It was a soap bubble. And I carefully watched it for over 10 minutes how it moved around the bathroom, without once hitting a wall, without once landing in water, simply moving, in a controlled chaos, without any real direction but within a pattern.

What does this mean?

This is our life here on Earth. We think we are moving in a straight line but we are not. But we are not acting in a random manner either. It is a self-regulating ecosystem. Things happen because they need to happen in order to keep a balance.

If you do X, you get Y. It is causality. It is Newton’s third law – every action has an opposite and equal reaction. While the reaction may not always be equal, as there are factors as friction, it happens. You always get what you deserve as a consequences of your actions, what you DESERVE, not what you THINK you deserve.

This means that there no moral bias here. No right or wrong. Go black or white. Just action and reaction. And in some way, every element on this Earth acts like that small soap bubble.

What happens seems random. We meet people in a random manner and they change our lives. We fall in love with the most unexpected person and she proves to be the best thing that ever happened to us. We reach circumstances without even realizing how and they are exactly what we need – no matter if these are good or bad.

Life follows a self-regulating pattern. If we are too much on the right, it creates influences to send us to the left. In the end, balance, keeping in the middle is the goal of nature.

The problem is that too often we ignore these signals. We fail to see them and we keep steering too much on the left or on the right until we hit a wall. Emotions, our thoughts, our circumstances even so randomness directs us towards the right destination, as long as we are willing to listen and observe.

And this is so beautiful. It truly is.

Best regards,
Razvan Rogoz

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My KPI Oriented Life – 14th Day Update

Exactly 14 days ago, I’ve decided on a few metrics, I’ve set up some goals and I’ve got to work. And guess what? It worked.

Up until this point, I’ve accomplished four out of 8 goals and I am seeing valuable improvements in the other four too.

Here are ten things that this experiment taught me so far …

Lesson #1 – It is not as easy as it seems. There is a reason why I’ve went for averages in most metrics. A single day lost meant the score going down. It is always for seven days average so eventually, any error will be corrected but this means that I must stay consistent. Very often I’ve found myself working a lot for 2 – 3 days, getting results and then not doing anything for the next three. As an example, in the last seven days, my lowest productivity was five, my second lowest was five (today). There wasn’t a single day where I simply did nothing.

Lesson #2 – It keeps you consistent. I have a system where in order for a goal to become valid, to accomplish it, I must keep that value for at least seven days. This means that it is not enough to wake up once at 07:00, I must have an average for the last seven days. I’m pissed off when I get to a chain of 2 or 3 just to get an inferior value in that day and lose it. I have to start from zero. But this is very similar to life. If you are not careful, you start again.

Lesson #3 – It becomes a part of you. For long periods in my life it was like “do I have something fun to do? No? Then let’s work”. Now it is “do I actually want to ruin my streak or decrease my value? I know that I will have to work a lot harder tomorrow to recover. I’ll just stay in and do my work. If this was the only benefit received from this, then it would have been completely worth it. It is behavioral change.

Lesson #4 – It is stable growth. Circumstances change, moods change, I’m hungry at this moment (and I prefer ordering pizza than wasting time on going outside or preparing food) and this morning I was so tired from lack of sleep that my body hurt but numbers stay the same. And since I’m progressing towards what I want, every day, I am improving the quality of my life dramatically. Of course, I’m missing out on some things but it is worth it.

Lesson #5 – Results don’t care if you are in the mood or not. Even if working in a bad mood usually is not very productive, it eventually leads to results. I’d rather invest four hours and get one hour of value from it then invest nothing at all. However, this refers to not being in the mood. If you are tired or sleep deprived, get to sleep, it is as simple as that. It is one thing to be bored and another maxed out.

Lesson #6 – You can’t really focus on everything at once. I’ve tried it. But it is difficult to progress on everything. If you walk 10.000 steps a day, then you don’t have enough time for work. If you do the work, you don’t have time for studying. So even if this is not formal, every day I’m focusing on a major metric and investing in a secondary manner in the others. Right now is effort invested.

Lesson #7 – Things usually work out themselves. While I can still be hit by a car and all my plans can go to hell, I’ve learned up to this point that if I do X, Y happens. Usually from the most unusual sources. I’ve found a formula to predict the future, at least in some areas of my life, with a rather high accuracy. Now don’t get me wrong. This is more art than science but at least statistically, if you put in X, you get Y. And it is reliable enough to see partially what will happen in three days or a week.

Lesson #8 – There is a maximum number of metrics a person can support. For example, I was better off at 7 instead of 8. The eight one was for savings. However, while I’m not deleting it, I caution you to be careful with tracking and setting goals for too many different things. I could add more things like time meditating or pages in the journal or many other things. I won’t. Even if these are important, too much complexity can ruin the system. Track only what is highly relevant to your goals, the 20% that determines the 80%.

The conclusion here?

If you track your main metrics, you don’t overcomplicate things and you create an system that prevents cheating (for me it is the last seven days average) it can change your life. I can’t say that it is the most productive period of my life but it is surely more productive than usual. If in these circumstances which are not ideal I can get such good results, then when things will be easy, I’ll be achieving a lot more.

Best regards,
Razvan Rogoz

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REVIEW: Thrive: 30 Inspirational Rags-To-Riches Stories by Jason Navallo

Disclaimer: This was an advanced review copy. The final eBook that will be sold may be different compared to this one.

Through over the years, I’ve read a great deal of books. One of my favorite types were autobiographies. I can remember when I was 18 how I was in a car, on a 16 hour trip and I was listening to Richard Branson’s biography. I can also remember how I was living in the first place I could call my own and I was reading “The Snowball Effect” – Warren Buffett’s biography.

Biographies are good because you can learn from what other people did in the past. You can understand their strategies for success and where they’ve failed – so you can at least be prepared in your own life.

No one said that you won’t fail yourself but at least it will be a bit more familiar and you’ll find a solution faster. That’s being said, Thrive is a collection of mini-biographies for some of the most successful people in this world.

It covers A LOT of people, ranging from actors to entrepreneurs to artists. Each biography is about 500 – 700 words long (from my estimation) and it shows how each person went through failure, misfortune and even malice to become what it is or was at the moment of their success.

Each story can be read in a few minutes and I’ve found myself reading story after story, because this book is actually very interesting. While nothing here is new and it is mostly a condensation of other info, it feels like an encyclopedia of success and the first time I’ve opened it, I’ve read over 30 pages in a single sitting.

I suggest this book to you if you need a healthy dose of motivation in your life. It is impossible not to find yourself at least in one of the examples mentioned here. These are different people but they all share a common thread – that is – they’ve struggled before they became successful.

What I’ve liked:
– Contains the life of many people I admire.
– Short and to the point, no such thing as filler content.
– Inspirational and it should be on anyone’s Kindle or coffee table.

What I didn’t liked:
– I would have loved to have some kind of a link if I want to find out more about a certain person, linking to other books or materials.

Score: 9 / 10.

Where can you get it?
– At this moment, I am not aware of it being sold. However, once I get an Amazon link, I’ll post it here.

Best regards,
Razvan Rogoz

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App Review – Happiness for IOS

Journaling sounds like a great idea at first. However, if you really look at it, it has two fundamental flaws:
– You’ll write a few tens of pages in the start then forget it into some drawer.
– You will never read what you’ve wrote ever again, either because it is too painful to do so or because it is not interesting enough.

In other words, journaling is a good vehicle for expressing your feelings, emotions and deepest secrets but not so much for finding correlations and causations.

Then comes Happiness.

I love this little app (with not such a little price tag of 4.99 EUR, which for an mobile app, is a lot).

It’s principles are simple:
– You decide how happy or unhappy you are with five degrees for each side.
– You write a short entry about what makes you feel this way.
– You add tags which will get analyzed and in time, will show you correlations. For example, if you’ve been in a bad state and every time you’ve tagged a certain person as a cause of your unhappiness, then you will see statistically how many times that person made you unhappy. It sounds complicated but it is not. For example, if I check right now exercising, I’ll get a lot of green dots (which means happiness). If I check waking up late, it is always unhappiness.

To put it simply, you’ll quantify how you feel, you’ll write a description to this and you’ll add the key words as tags.

Here’s what I like about the app:
– Works rather fast, very few crashes.
– Nice design.
– Huge help file that reads like a self-improvement book.
– Easy to use even if the tags system is not the most intuitive.
– Can help you export your database into CSV. You’ll get happiness scores along tags along descriptions and this is awesome!

What I don’t like:
– Icloud sync is useless.
– After I’ve reseted my phone and I’ve tried to get my data back with a restore link, it failed to work.
– High price to be honest – I don’t mind paying for it but without a promo or trial, it is a risk to pay 5 EUR.

Do I suggest it? Yes. For self-improvement, for quantification and for being a kick ass journaling app. I wish that a web version would exist as it is not that easy to type long entries on a mobile phone. And an Android version wouldn’t hurt (it is IOS exclusive).

You can get it from here:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/happiness-mood-tracking-journal/id501992445?mt=8

Best regards,
Razvan Rogoz

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How To Live A KPI Oriented Life

There are goals and there are KPIs. If you don’t know what a KPI is, it stands for Key Performance Indicator. In other words, it is a metric that you can track and which represents directly and indirectly performance in a certain area.

For example, how many sales you make is a KPI. If you are closing 10 out of 100 calls a day, then you have a KPI of 10 or 10%.

I’ve decided to go the KPI route some time ago, frustrated that traditional goal setting was not working so well for me. This combined with my love for the quantified self movement, allowed me to create a system based on three different areas:

– Determine the AOI (areas of influence).
– Collect data in a precise manner and in a quantifiable manner.
– Determine goals based on this data.

Sounds too complicated? Let me give you an example.

I know from experience that if I wake up earlier, I’ll get more done, I’ll have a better mood and generally, it will be a better day. I can’t remember a single usual day that went out properly if I woke up at 11:00 or 12:00.

My goal is to have an average wake up time at 07:00. I could do better but for now, since I’ve fallen off the wagon (I had a wake up time of 05:50 for a long, long time), I need to take small steps.

So how do I use this?

First of all, I collect the data.

This is done using a FitBit Charge HR tracker which I wear on my wrist at all times. It is rather accurate and it detects when you go to sleep and when you wake up with 95% accuracy.

This means that every single day, I can sync the FitBit and see when I’ve got out of bed. It determines that I’ve woken up in the moment I perform more movement than I usually do when I sleep. I don’t understand the science behind it exactly but the point is – it is accurate.

I take this data and transform it into a goal. However, since just waking up once at 07:00 it is not really going to help me, I’ve decided to use the “average” method. In other words, all my goals are calculated as an average, usually for the last seven days, so I can have consistency.

Fortunately, FitBit does this automatically for me and calculates it but with some other goals, I have to do it manually (which is not that hard – sum of the last seven days or tracking period divided by seven or the number of days).

I place everything in a spreadsheet and for every day improved, I highlight the new valor with green. For every day that I’m dropping, I’m making it with red. My final goal at this point looks like this …

“SLEEP – WAKE UP HOUR #1 – Reach an average of 07:00 and keep it for at least seven days.”

Here’s how it looks like:

WAKE UP TIME
09:21
09:13
09:10
08:26
08:40
08:53
09:08

Once I reach those seven days and I have an 07:00 average, I will decrease it to 06:30 and so on, until I can reach optimum or high performance values.

What are the advantages of this method?
– You know exactly if you are moving forward or backwards.
– Since it is calculated daily, you must move forward, like a marathon, not a sprint, towards the desired goal.
– It gives you pattern based data over time.
– It is an amazing tool for self-improvement because it is one thing to think you are good at something and another to have the data to prove it.
– Anomalies eventually get canceled because the value is always an average of all values (or for the time period) and not the highest one. This means that if you would track income and you would earn $5000 in a day and nothing in the next 9, then the value on the tenth day would be $500/day and not $5000. This is a good thing since it is very easy to lie yourself with statistics and the more data you put in, the more accurate it becomes.

What are the disadvantages of this method?
– It requires passive tracking or the discipline to do this manually. Some goals like productivity or how much I study (as in books finished) are tracked manually but I admit – I wouldn’t be tracking my sleep without a sensor to absorb and interpret this data for me.
– You can’t lie to yourself. If you are failing, you are failing and the numbers show this to you. So it is not for the faint of heart.

Now every single day is about asking the question – what can I do to improve my stats in these areas? These stats range from fitness to financial to my own happiness (which is not correlated yet, only tracked through an amazing IOS app called Happiness) to how much work I put in.

For now, I’m not doing high level correlations. I’m not trying to see if there are links between values and how changing one changes the other. I may do this at a later date and I only have seven days of info so far in this system.

But what I’m doing is …
– How many steps do I need to walk / run today to hit my 7500/day average?
– How much do I need to exercise today to hit my calories goal average?
– How close am I’m to getting my next badge on FitBit (this acts as a normal goal but since the value resets itself every day, I track it).
– How much work do I need to invest in Pomodoros to reach my average of 10 Pomodoros a day?

And so on. It seems complicated. It is not. It is actually very simple. The problem with SMART goals is that you don’t even know what you need to do and it is easy to fool yourself. A SMART goal would be to earn $5000 in one month.

However, there are two problems with this:
– How do I know I’m on the right path? How do I know I’m progressing?
– What if it takes more than a month – then do I need to update my goal?

Instead, you can have a goal to earn just $161 per day. In some days you’ll earn nothing. In others you’ll earn five times the sum. At the end, it all balances and if you see that you are in the red too much, then it means what you are doing is not working. If you are in the green, then you are raising your average (even if it means from $10 to $15) and you know you are heading towards the right destination.

I find it fascinating and while I would like to take the credit for it, I can’t. These procedures have been used in management for a long time but I’m glad that I’ve found a way to apply them into my own life.

Best regards,
Razvan Rogoz

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You can’t control future events … you can only control present circumstances.

A new thing I’m learning is to stop worrying about future events. Neither should you.

Yes, it is hard when you know that in X days, something may happen. It is harder when you know that it must happen, as there is a deadline set, no matter what that may be.

But in the same time, it is a waste of time.

There is the circle of influence and circle of worry (according to Stephen Covey). In the circle of influence you can actually do something. In the circle of worry you can only hope that some things will turn alright.

Well, the truth is that no matter if you worry or if you worry, the things will turn exactly the same. Your worries are not influencing the outcome.

So instead of being worried of what will happen in the future, about your future battles, fight on the current ones. In a war, you focus on your next battle, not on what will happen in two years. And so many things can change that your worry may be for nothing.

So, relax and stop living in the future. Or in the past. Live in the present. One task at a time. One step at a time towards your goal.

Best regards,
Razvan Rogoz

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Psychological repression and self-disowning in the pursuit of success.

Reality check.

Powerful = Ruthless?
Cool = cold?
Better, superior = emotionless?
Funny = submissive?
Glamorous = sterile beauty?

These are some of the associations we are making in our lives once we reach a certain level of success. At some point, when you’ve got both the money, the power and the charisma to influence with ease, these became the status quo.

Yet, I wonder how true they are.

A few days I saw Fifty Shades of Grey. I’ve also read the books, the first two. And yes, Christian Grey is a fictional character I look up too. Rich, in control, charismatic, controlled movement and hypnotic.

Like it or not, for most people in business, he is the new Gordon Gecko. Yet, is it practical to aim to be that way? Because in the end … we are humans.

I admit, people like people who are cold and reserved. I know this because this is how I’ve been for a long, long time. I want to correct that – I am. It started when I’ve first read Atlas Shrugged, a book that has been condemned for promoting extreme emotional restrain. Yet, I don’t know how useful is that anymore.

Yes, you make money. Yes, you are powerful. Yes, you get a lot of sex.

But at the end of the day, you don’t laugh. You don’t cry. You don’t enjoy. You don’t find yourself singing in the shower. You don’t enjoy yourself like a little kid when the time comes.

Is this the price you must pay for being successful – canceling emotions? This is because, positive and negative emotions are not divided. You can’t cancel negative and keep the positive. If you feel, you feel. It comes as a package.

I don’t believe so. I think that there is a better way. I think that people like Gordon Gecko and more recently Christian Grey are not really the best examples to follow in life if you want to be happy. People like Gregory House (I know that I’m using fictional examples but you are more likely to know them than any business leaders I may mention – but for example, Steve Jobs) or the guy from House of Cards – Frank Underwood.

Because we are slowly turning into a society of sociopaths.

Every person that is goal focused will eventually have to make this choice – do I want to be a sociopath or not? Do I want to see people just as tools, everything like a game of chess, or not?

I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum. I don’t know what is better. I don’t consider myself a sociopath but I am emotionally withdrawn. On one side, no emotions = more power. On the other side emotions = happiness.

And what is more important in life, happiness or power (power meaning money, power over others and to some degree, power over yourself).

It is a hard question, one that I don’t know how to answer.

But here’s the thing – maybe they are not mutually exclusive. Power is about playing nice with others so you can use your combined efforts to achieve a goal. Happiness is enjoying the process of living. It is true, a tendency towards sociopathy makes gaining power a lot easier and it may be required if you want to reach the very top but it is worth it?

Again, I don’t know. This is not a cautionary tale of “don’t sell your soul for money”. I know many moments in my life when I would have sold my soul for many things. It is instead a question that I’m asking myself and that I provoke you, the reader, to ask too …

The question being …

“Can I achieve the heights of success while still retaining my humanity, my emotions, my joys and my love for other people and for people in general … while knowing that this world is sometimes a heaven and sometimes hell?”

And maybe you can.

Maybe you don’t need to be too cool for school and cold like ice in order to succeed. Maybe it is OK to laugh. Maybe it is OK to be fine with being human. Maybe it is not required to transform you, your body, your life in just a mechanism to accomplishing a goal and to remember that the only purpose of the goal is to increase your happiness, therefore, sacrificing your happiness to accomplish your goal is kind of a negation in terms.

But I don’t know yet. This is a question that most people never ask and that was just raised for me. But I think there is a better way. I think that we don’t need to glamorize not being human so much.

I think that we can stop acting like models on a stage, beautiful, interesting, the height of perfection but who are empty inside and are just a nice package. I think that in this world, especially for us, people who are trying hard to succeed and people who are successful, we can remember from time to time or even, all the time that what’s inside the package is just as important as the package itself.

That your new BMW is not really relevant if you can’t enjoy driving …
That your new trophy wife is not relevant if you don’t love her …
That your $100.000 bank account is not relevant if you are not finding happiness or safety in them …

… and that even if you need to be a great package outside (I’ve never said that this was not required, I know in what world we live in) we need to tend to our inner substance too. Both what’s inside and what’s outside.

Not to be yourself but to be your best self and to enjoy this.

Not to just look good but to feel beautiful and cherished in the same time.

Not to just be rich but to actually feel rich.

NOT JUST TO BE SUCCESSFUL BUT TO USE YOUR SUCCESS TO BE HAPPY.

Because … this is the essence of true fulfillment.

Giving it your best in life … and enjoying every moment of happiness that this brings you.

I don’t know how …

But I’m starting to understand the why.

That if you go through the process of self-disowning, you are like a general, fighting a war, fighting like a pro, but when he gets home, there is no kingdom to have. It is fighting while sacrificing what you are fighting for.

It is glamarous to be a winner, to be the gladiator. But it may be more interesting, more beautiful to be happy. It is not as seductive since we live in a society where the quiet, strong, emotioneless figure is at the top of the food chain and it gains respect, every single time but … the price may not be worth it.

I’ll update in the future with a new post about this process of transformation for me.

I’ll leave you with a description of two key concepts:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Disowned_Self

The Disowned Self explores, “…the problem of self-alienation – a condition in which the individual is out of contact with his own needs, feelings, emotions, frustrations and longings, so that he is largely oblivious to his actual self and his life is the reflection of an unreal self, of a role he has adopted. The problem of obliviousness to self, the causes and consequences of such obliviousness, and its treatment psychotherapeutically – is the theme of this book.”[2]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_repression

Psychological repression, or simply repression, is the psychological attempt made by an individual to repel one’s own desires and impulses toward pleasurable instincts by excluding the desire from one’s consciousness and holding or subduing it in the unconscious. Repression plays a major role in many mental illnesses, and in the psyche of the average person.[1]

Repression (German: Verdrängung), ‘a key concept of psychoanalysis, is a defense mechanism, but it pre-exists the ego, e.g., ‘Primal Repression’. It ensures that what is unacceptable to the conscious mind, and would, if recalled, arouse anxiety, is prevented from entering into it';[2] and is generally accepted as such by psychoanalytic psychologists.[3]

However, regarding the distinct subject of repressed memory, there is debate as to whether (or how often) memory repression really happens[4] and mainstream psychology holds that true memory repression occurs only very rarely.[5]

Best regards,
Razvan Rogoz

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