A few days ago, I’ve took part in an interesting, in-promptu social experiment. It was about “how would you advertise yourself for dating purposes”. I must admit it, the fight was not really fair due to my knowledge but that’s not the point.
What surprised me was how boys presented themselves vs. girls. Girls actually “pimped” themselves very effectively. Funny, cute, a bit kinky, they’ve done the job admirably.
They really understood the target market (boys) and their niche (who they want to attract). Even if it was only an experiment, it was actually a cool approach.
Boys, not so much. They’ve took a more shotgun approach where they haven’t defined for whom and for whom not is their message. They’ve sold mostly what they considered to be appealing to the opposite sex and not what was appealing. In many cases, the image was that of a nice guy who would do and say anything to “sell” himself.
Btw, if you’re curious about my entry, here it is:
It’s interesting and I’ve drawn some conclusions:
- When it comes to dating, girls are more comfortable doing it (btw, girls mean women, young or old, it’s just easier to ID it this way) with a far better comprehension of what are their qualities.
- Girls also tended to be very focused on what they offer, based on the perceived needs of the opposite sex.
- Girls tended to know their self-worth better, qualifying the market in the same time.
On the other hand, there were a few guys there that managed this better than a marketing campaign by Ogilvy.
Now, where’s the motivational part from all of this?
It is about EQ or emotional intelligence. Now I’m not saying that we as guys we don’t have any but to be honest, girls tend to do it a bit better. And our ability to love ourselves and sell our best qualities to the world is a critical factor in how we’re going to approach life.
Look … being smart is not enough in this world. I know enough smart people who became waitresses and waiters. And no, contrary to what is politically correct, I don’t think this is a place for folks who excelled academically.
You also need to have “soul”. To feel as a winner. To think yourself as a winner. To perceive you in a way that helps you. Why?
Because in this world, perception is reality. It is not the smartest person who gets at the top, it is the person that can best sell himself to the top. It is not the best looking guy who gets the model, it is the guy that can sell his qualities efficiently to that model. It is not the hardest working person who becomes a billionaire, it is the one that believed in himself enough to force through any obstacle in order to get there.
The battle is first won in our own minds, that’s my point. If you don’t feel worthy in your own mind, they you won’t feel worthy in real life. The battle is won way before it is thought.
The shy person doesn’t get ahead in life. The person that doesn’t believe in his skills will never present those skills to others. The person who doesn’t believe in self-worth will never require others to pay the price for his availability.
It is like going to an employer and saying “pay me whatever you want”. That says not that you are enthusiastic and opened to this opportunity but that you don’t believe in your own worth. And guess what? If you don’t believe it, chances are that the other person won’t believe it either.
Life is a meritocracy but on a more deep level than most people think. It’s not on a pure abstract, theoretical one where the best skills win. It is one in which a combination of EQ plus IQ plus street smarts plus opportunity plus many other factors work together. The people who win the game of life may not excel at anything in particular but they are adequate in the areas that matter.
Look … there is this girl which is simply brilliant. Very smart. Hard-working. Excelling from many points of view. Yet, she found a job with difficulty. Why? Because while her traits are obvious from the exterior, she doesn’t believe in them. She doesn’t want to stand out and to shine. And since very few people know about how she really is
There is no honor in not shining bright. You’re not doing other people a favor. Yes, some people may feel insecure because of this but this is their problem, not yours. No matter who you are, there will always be someone who will feel threatened by you. So … shine my friend