In a way, this is something you strive all your life to have. From the moment you are born to the moment you die, the entire life is a futile pursuit for control. One in which you want to predict with as much certainty as possible what it is going to happen and you want life to follow a mathematical precision.
This sounds great but … it is an illusion.
After the events in the last month or so, most of which were positive, I’ve understood that there is no real control in life. That yes, you can have a direction and you can move towards that direction but circumstances won’t play out based on a single factor. Circumstances play out based on a combination of different processes and systems and at the end of the day you can try to have control (and fail) or you can simply roll with the punches.
Does this mean that you have no control over life whatsoever?
No. You can set goals and you can accomplish them. You can set intentions and you can follow them. You can say “I’m here and I’m going to get there” and you can do that. You have absolute control over the driver’s seat of your life, over the vehicle that gets you from A to B. But if life is a car, you have control over your car (at least most of the time) but you don’t control the road. Or the traffic. You don’t control if the road is going to be a smooth or a bumpy one. You don’t control how other drivers will act.
And once you understand this …
… it becomes very simple. Life becomes simple. It comes down to doing your best of what you can do and let the other factors be. You know, in a way, it is like the weather. You can’t control it. You can get dressed in shorts and a t-shirt and in five minutes, it can start raining. This actually happened a few days ago. You can’t control the rain. You can go back and get more clothes and an umbrella.
So it is with the metaphysical aspect of existence. You can’t control what really happens around you but you can control your reaction. You can’t really control how people are going to treat you but you can control how you can react to that. You can’t control circumstances so much but you can always or at least, most of the time, control your own reaction to circumstances.
Once you realize this … you simply let it go. Some people call this God, like a higher being, force, whatever that controls everything that happens. I’m an atheist so I just called it perceived randomness. It is not actually random though. Since the universe is not infinite (expanding to an infinite state doesn’t mean that it is infinite, it just means that it is heading there) there can be a limited number of states in which any object, any person, any particle and beam in the universe can exist. So since there is a limited number of options, this means that the universe is a predictable environment.
And if you take into account enough factors, everything can be predicted. I believe that in a few hundreds of thousands years, quantum computing will be so efficient that it will take into account everything to predict the future. But right now, you can’t do that. You know that what happens, happens because different cause and effects interact together but you can’t actually predict how and you shouldn’t even try. It’s just … life.
Anyway, getting back to the point …
… Reality is too much of a complex mechanism to actually predict how it is going to work. But your reactions are not. In every action there are a lot of possible reactions. Some will empower you, others will not. For example, let’s say that you will wake up tomorrow and it is raining outside. You can curse the weather or you can take a book and read. You can call a cab and go somewhere or you can simply walk through the rain. There are many possible reactions. You can’t change the rain but this doesn’t mean that you are stuck on a course of action. You are virtually limitless here.
Once I’ve accepted that I rarely have control over what is around me and my true control is over what I am and what I do, what is in my area of control, my life became a lot easier. I’ve realized that there are actions that are in my area of control … my area of influence and finally, that are out of my area of control. I can focus mostly on the first and a bit on the second and the most I focus on this small circle, I extend my area. But even so, I accept that absolute control over circumstances is a huge illusion and that you just let things to be.
Things are the way they are because they work this way on a cause and effect level. If something exists in a certain way it is because there are factors that make it to be that way. It is not random. It is as natural as 3 + 3 = 6. You can’t really change the state of the thing, you can change the factors that make it to be that way.
But everything is as it is supposed to be. You can’t wish things to be different because it is futile. Things, circumstances to be more specific are just an result of a complex equation of causes and effects that are happening all around you.
So the next time you ask “why is this happening to me?” the answer is simpler. It is happening to you, good or bad, because there are many factors that came together to make that happen. And when you’ll change enough factors to shift the direction, the circumstances will change. Maybe they’ll change dramatically, maybe not. It all comes down to the building blocks of reality and how they are working towards that effect.