I’m so sore.
It hurts. My body hurts.
But I gladly accept the pain. Why? Because I’d rather have this pain than the pain of disappointment and failing in some areas of my life.
Let me explain.
FIRTS – It hurts because I’ve just returned to the gym. And it seems that when you have a personal trainer, you end up doing proper workouts.
And proper workouts hurt, at least when in recovery mode.
SECOND – I’m doing this for a big reason.
It’s not to live to 100. It’s not to build discipline. Sure, these matters.
But you know what’s my real motivation?
To meet pretty girls and to date them. That’s all. I could say to fuck them but at this moment, I feel I need the company of a beautiful girl in my life a lot more than the physical aspect alone. For that, I can just pay $100 and be done with it.
(C’mon, we’re all thinking it)
And lately, I’ve kind of failed in this endeavour.
I mean, just like I like a girl that is tall and fit and pretty, it’s only normal that she wants something similar. And I’m not feeling either very fit or very handsome. I actually have a body fat percentage of 22.4% or something.
I’m a pragmatist. I’m extremely realist. I don’t like to tell myself stories. And the truth is that excepting special circumstances, I’ll not get a girl with 16% BFI if mine is 22.4%. Sure, there are unfit guys with fit girls but statistically, the odds are against me.
And while every girl has an appeal of her own, I actually have a clear idea of what’s the ideal type for me – fit, athletic, the Taiwanese / Chinese type. For me, that’s the prize. I’ve been two years in Taiwan, it’s what I like, it’s what I’ll find.
But to get my prize, I also need to be a prize for her, ergo, going to the gym and paying the equivalent of a medium salary in Malaysia (I’m in Malaysia atm) on a personal trainer to help me achieve my fitness goals.
Why am I so honest here?
Because we need to cut the bullshit.
You want something in your life. And the only way to get that is to become the person that naturally gets those kind of outcomes. I don’t know if it’s money or respect or love or freedom but you can’t get something unless you’re the kind of person that gets it – if that makes sense.
Someone out of shape and with 22% BFI is not the natural candidate for a good looking, tall, fit Asian girl. And that being said, I have a few options.
FIRST – I can blame the world.
Doesn’t it suck that girls have high standards and they should love me just as I am? Didn’t my mommy said I’m special?
It’s their fault, not mine, while I’m putting another handful of chips in my mouth.
(Hint: Doesn’t work)
SECOND – I can hope to get lucky.
And this happens sometimes. Sometimes you get what you naturally aren’t suited for.
And given enough trials and time, I can get that kind of girl with or without my improved body. However, I don’t believe in luck as a strategy. I don’t gamble in life.
There is no certainty that what I want will happen… nor is there any strategy that I can maintain it. I prefer to be ready, not lucky.
THIRD – I can give up.
This is what most people do.
Seeing they can’t get naturally what they want, most people simply lower their standards and accept something more suited to where they are now.
It’s far easier to build a narrative justifying your current situation than it is to actually change them. And who needs a pretty Taiwanese girl when there’s porn available?
For better or for worse, I’d rather slap myself fifty times a day than justify my story. It’s not a game I’m willing to play.
And FOURTH – I can simply adapt and become better.
I can accept a basic truth.
There are some standards required in order to achieve said goal. I’m sure the standards extend past the physical but I guess I’m above average in the other areas. Instead of justifying or blaming others or lowering my standards, I’d rather just raise myself to said higher standards.
Look… I believe in radical honesty. This is saying things as they are.
I’m willing to go through a lot of physical pain, sore muscles and “fuck, I’ll die” moments in order to have a very pretty girl next to me. That’s my why. It doesn’t have to be noble. It has to be mine.
So it is with your goal.
Maybe you want a Porsche 911 to show your high-school classmates from ten years ago that you’ve made it and you’re a baller. Whatever. It’s fine. Your reason doesn’t to be noble. You’re not on national television. Do what works for you.
There are only a few things that really bring me joy – freedom, knowledge (especially deep conversations) and very pretty girls that are actually into me (the actually part matters a lot to me, I find it hard to sell myself lies). I’m not motivated by changing the world or ending world hunger or creating a revolution.
My “minding my own business” level is so high that almost nothing moves me from my path anymore. Know thyself matters a lot.
Because everyone in this world will tell you how to think and what to think and what’s right and wrong. And everyone should mind their own fucking business and be an expert in how to live their lives, not yours. You decide what you want and you pay the price for it.